So long, farewell...

All good things must come to an end...today we had to take Auntie Caridad to the airport and say goodbye! It was so nice to see her again, but it felt like our time was short and too busy. What with shopping and baking and cooking (and the fact that we did not get even a full week with her) it was gone before we had even started. I didn't even get to shop the sales with her :(

The children loved having some extra attention and I was SO grateful for all of the help she provided. I just wish we all lived closer and we could get together more often.

I realized this morning, that in all of the hustle and bustle I did not have a single shot of her with the kids, or with me. So minutes before we were meant to leave, I insisted on trying to take a couple. Well Asia did not want to cooperate (of course) and so there are still none of just her with the kids but it did mean I was able to get in on the action.

Arran and Bryttain are fascinated by the fact that she has a boyfriend in America, even though she lives in England. Hopefully at some point here we will get to meet him. Should make for more frequent visits, is the upside. Not that we are thinking selfishly from our point-of-view at all, of course. I'm pushing for a visit in the Summer - we can do the beach, and wine tasting and spend time outdoors.

Surely one would want to spend time with ones boyfriend at least every six months, right?!

Christmas Morning!

Christmas Eve

It's Christmas Eve and it's been a hectic week. Aunty Caridad (my lovely sister) arrived on Monday. The kids have been so excited and we've been doing the official countdown for a couple of weeks now. Of course she arrived in the midst of the most dreary, miserable weather possible. I don't think it has stopped raining since she got here.
Today was spent baking. Most of the presents are wrapped and under the tree and the children are finally in bed. I can sit down with a glass of wine and relax at last. The instructions are that the kids are not to open ANY presents without us, we want to do it as a family! We have to issue this instruction after Bryttain's last birthday, where she took it upon herself to get up (at two years old) and unwrap everything.We didn't get to see her reaction to gifts, or photograph or film it in anyway and I was so sad.
Tomorrow will be fun, but now to my glass of wine and spending time with my husband :)

O' Christmas Tree, O' Christmas Tree...

Well it has only taken us about one week.

We finally bought our tree last Friday evening, but too late to do anything with it. Saturday the morning was hectic, just trying to get the room cleared and re-arranged a little so we could actually put the tree up. Well I then had a baby shower to attend at lunch time and got home to children begging to begin. James rounded up the tree stand, only to discover that with this tree being nine foot tall (the biggest one we have had so far) it would not fit in our little stand and we also were not sure what state last years lights were in, or if we would have enough, so off we had to head to the store.

Then it was dinner time, so we finally got the tree up and lights on it, Saturday night and left it at that. Sunday was crazy, we went from church in the morning, to James and the two older kids going to Thai Church where the kids also had their youth party. Then that evening was our church's Christmas party.

Each of the following evenings we let the children put a few decorations on the tree. It was adorable, all of the decorations were concentrated in the bottom quarter of the tree at their heights. We have gradually tried to redistribute them and I think, finally, Thursday evening, it is now finished, or at least as good as we are going to get it this year.

I took a few photos which aren't perfect. Due to the low light conditions, and not wanting to use the flash I had to use slower shutter speeds, so especially those with the kids may seem a little more blurred, but we think it looks lovely.

Asia thinks that the idea is to pull decorations off and bring them to us, so we are working on that! Bryttain is convinced it is her job to turn the lights on and off.

Of course, we still need to get the Nativities set up, wrap presents, clean, tidy...but at least headway has been made and it is starting to feel a lot more like Christmas.

Gingerbread Houses

This past weekend our pastor's wife hosted a children's Gingerbread House Party. Each child got their own gingerbread house to decorate and on top of that, we were all provided with lunch :)


It is so fun to watch our children develop in their different ways and get to enjoy these kinds of activities with them.

The parents helped with piping on the frosting and then the kids were able to decorate to their hearts' content. It was interesting to watch the different way they approached the task. Arran decorated his by himself and he was very particular about what went where, whilst Bryttain (who did need a bit more help) every time James asked her what she wanted to put on next, would pick up one of the pieces of candy, hold it up and ask


"Can I eat this one?"


Needless to say, James had to have quite a hand in decorating Bryttain's house. She probably ate three or four pieces for every piece that made it onto the house! Arran on the other hand did not even nibble on one piece. Our little boy, who still refuses any kind of fruit, will also not let anything pass his lips that even vaguely could look, smell, or taste like fruit. He will eat chocolate, but no candy for him.

It was a fun, if not hectic morning. The children were all so proud of their creations and these are the sorts of traditions that we can continue for years to come, creating happy memories.

Arran's house

Bryttain's (with a little bit of help from James) house

Time is precious

This may seem a little jumbled, but the truth is that my brain is a jumbled mess, constantly.

This would have been my mum's birthday, but she is no longer here on this earth with us.

I still mourn at times...not on a daily basis, but when I do, it is just as deep and hurts just as much as if losing her was yesterday. I miss her terribly! I know she is in a better place, but that does not stop me from missing her and wishing that she were still here. I am sad that my little girls never got to meet their grandma, that Arran doesn't even remember her, that they don't have her to love them and spoil them. She doesn't get to share in my joy of seeing them grow and change, she is not here to give me much needed advice, or be my listening ear.

As my life progresses and my role expands, I continue to be amazed at how much she achieved and accomplished, at times in the face of such adversity. I feel like for so long, we really were not that close and then, when I had my son, something changed. I finally had a new respect and understanding and appreciation for her and all she had done and been through. So many things that I'd felt critical over, suddenly made so much sense to me. There are many things I wish I could ask her, or thank her for, that now of course, I can't.

There were times, in my self-righteous, ignorant days, that I was so disapproving of the way she was, or the way she did things, but the reality is, I had no clue.
Her priority was her family, her children, and she sacrificed so much for each of us. As a teenager, I remember being embarrassed, at times, of her lack of style, but the truth was, she bought us nice clothes, new clothes, and shopped at charity shops for her own.

I was a daddy's girl growing up and do not ever remember feeling a strong bond with my mother, yet I see my relationship with my own children and am overwhelmed by the love and affection I have for them and I know that she must have felt that way about me. That in itself has brought me healing. For a time, when I was insistent that I did not want children, there just was no desire or appeal, she would tell me

"Oh, but you'll feel differently when they are your own"

and she was right, because of course she was speaking from experience. She knew already, what I know and feel now. I don't think she was very good at expressing it or showing it but I know how she felt. I know how much she loved me and how much each of us meant to her.

I am so grateful that I married a man who is affectionate, openly loving and who has taught me to say "I love you!". We constantly tell our children that we love them and our children tell us and each other. The hugs and kisses flow freely and it is as natural as breathing, or eating and sleeping.

We never know when our time will end. Sometimes we lose people without warning, before we've had the chance to say a goodbye and all the thank yous and I love yous. I feel that is what happened with my mum and I regret that. She was a wonderful woman whose time was cut short. I believe that she could have been here with us longer, but due to the damage done to her body, in essence because of the negligence of others, God chose to spare her from a life that would have been filled with misery and pain, and instead took her to be with Him. She is free in every sense of the word, no more doubts, pain, uncertainty, expectations to fulfill, the worries and strains of this world left far behind her.

One day we will meet again - I have that assurance and faith that the best is yet to come!

A double birthday

One year ago today...we started out the morning with the kids giving James his birthday presents and cards, in bed. Then a little cramping, which quickly became clear was actually the start of contractions. It was pretty mild at that point but I knew what was to come; this was the onset of labour. We spent James' birthday in hospital and our precious little Asia was born in the early hours of that evening - Saturday December 1st, 2007.

Today, Asia turned one year old and her daddy forty!

She has been such a sweet blessing to us and it is hard to remember our life before she was born. This part year has been the fastest of my life and it is hard to believe that Asia has been with us for a full year. There are things about that day that I remember so clearly and yet, I live so much in the present, that it's also hard to remember Asia as anything other than she is now. So I spent some time this evening looking at old photos...I love to do that. This is why I take photos, to provide the detail and the memories that I can look back on in the years to come...to make me smile, or cry, to share with others. I don't know what I would do without them.

Literally seconds after being born. She really was that blue...see my and the nurses hands in comparison.

A few minutes later, a little cleaner, warmer, pinker.

One year later!

This Little Light of Mine

Each week at our church, we have 'special music' while the offering plate is doing the rounds. Yesterday our little preschoolers (or at least some of them, Arran decided last minute that he didn't want to do it) sang our song for us.

They did such a great job and I could not have been prouder of Bryttain....she loves to sing and dance, but can get a little shy at times and really doesn't like to perform on demand, but she was so cute up there singing , sometimes a second behind the others. Here's the video (she's the one on the far right, in the pink dress and pink cowboy boots!).