Reflections

As I reflect back on my recent trip, I know that it was a good thing. I keep going, going, going at all times and it provided a much needed break, much more needed than I think I fully realized.

The first couple of days, with the early start and the traveling and being worried about my children and missing them, was a little hard - but it was a bump I had to get over. Once I had arrived and could use the wonders of modern technology and actually see AND talk to them thanks to video chats on Skype, my mind and heart were at peace and I could get on with the show. To see their smiling little faces and have them SO excited to see me and tell me about the fun things they were doing with daddy, to not have them upset and begging me to come home was strangely freeing.

What surprised me the most, I think, was how much I missed James. The last few days especially, I just could not stop thinking about him...it was good! I had expected to miss my children, but being back in London brought back so many memories of our early days together. Then I would see couples everywhere and feel the pang of separation. I was excited to see him again and felt like a giddy schoolgirl. We were meant to be together, he completes me and still, after twelve and a half years of marriage, not only is the deep familiar love there, but he still makes my heart go pitter-patter and gives me butterflies.

It was good to be reminded of that and not just take it for granted.

People always say how important it is for moms to take care of themselves and to make the time, but I just do not find that it is possible the majority of the time. It is not our reality. Yet somehow, for everyone's sake I think I do need to make it a new goal.