A whole new chapter.

That is what today marked. It was a major turning point for all of us, but especially for Arran. Today was the first day of school! Arran is officially a kindergartner and attending Mary Collins School at Cherry Valley. We really do have high hopes for this school and appreciate their philosophy on teaching and learning.

We have been leading up to this day for the past couple of months and in earnest the last week or so, trying to prepare him and remind him of what was to come. He had been talking about how excited he was to start and anticipating making new friends. Of course, to complicate matters, last night of all nights he had a terrible nightmare and lost out on sleep, which meant starting the day tired. All of a sudden he started to get anxious and told me that he was afraid, before he was even up and dressed, poor little guy.

This was a huge step outside of his safe little world of family and friends.

At times like these I feel so blessed that James is self-employed and can manage his own schedule. He stayed home with the two girls so that I could focus on Arran and take him in on his own for the first day. It turned out that this was a very wise move on our part.

Parking was HORRENDOUS! We do not, unfortunately, live close enough to walk and it would seem that barely anyone else does either. It is going to be quite the challenge, especially as I will normally have three little ones with me. He was running excitedly towards the school then stopped to grab my hand and ask me not to leave him.

We found his classroom and teacher, Mrs. Lewis, and were told to find his cubbie, familiarize him with where the bathrooms were and then find a table to do a project at. After a few minutes she did a few announcements then said it was time for hugs and kisses and for the parents to leave.

ALL of the children were fine, except for Arran, who burst into tears and held onto me for dear life. The rest of the parents left, as I tried to coax him off of me and explain that, I too, needed to leave. The tears streamed down his little face and he looked like a deer in the headlights, he was obviously terrified that I was going to leave. I felt bad for him and slightly embarrassed that he was the only one reacting like this, but I also knew that to leave him in that state would only make matters worse.

Fortunately his teacher was very understanding and did not kick me out (which I had kind of expected). Instead I stayed for the next hour and a half (!) as she read a story, did a little tour of the school, then explained how things worked around snack time. All the while I let him know I was there, yet I was gradually distancing myself from him. Finally, as I sensed he was feeling more comfortable and relaxed I told him that it was time for me to go, he froze for a moment then said

"OK Mommy"

That is what he needed, a little bit of time. He was ready and it was all positive. He did not have to feel betrayed or abandoned, he just needed to feel safe. It may have seemed like a long time, but I was so proud of him.

When I went to pick him up at 11:45am he came out smiling and happy. He ran down the path to tell me how much fun he had had, which was exactly what I wanted to hear.