I didn't make a big deal of it, or congratulate them, or make a fuss. I just ran for my camera to capture their preciousness, then left them to it. No posing or staging, just real life!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Precious moments
I love moments like these! This is what I walked in to see the other morning. Nobody had asked Arran to read to his little sister, nobody had asked Asia to go and be with her big brother, they just love each other and were doing it on their own. It truly warms a mother's heart.
I didn't make a big deal of it, or congratulate them, or make a fuss. I just ran for my camera to capture their preciousness, then left them to it. No posing or staging, just real life!
I didn't make a big deal of it, or congratulate them, or make a fuss. I just ran for my camera to capture their preciousness, then left them to it. No posing or staging, just real life!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Our first night at school
Well for the parents of 1st graders it may have been back to school night, but for us it was our first parents meeting. I have to say that the more I have heard and seen and the more time I have spent there I am just thrilled that Arran is attending this school. More importantly he loves it.
After the initial general presentation by the teachers, we went to our respective children's classrooms to hear more from their teacher. Arran's teacher seems to be have such a great balance; she is funny, sensitive, very much in control, flexible yet organized. We enjoyed getting to hear stories about her first week with her class and the way they are already working together. There was art work everywhere, which we of course loved.
We were told to find the drawing our child had created especially for us and to
write a message for him to read the next morning. So sweet - he drew us.
Another one of his pictures on the wall.
The picture, laminated to line his cubbie-hole.
After the initial general presentation by the teachers, we went to our respective children's classrooms to hear more from their teacher. Arran's teacher seems to be have such a great balance; she is funny, sensitive, very much in control, flexible yet organized. We enjoyed getting to hear stories about her first week with her class and the way they are already working together. There was art work everywhere, which we of course loved.
We were told to find the drawing our child had created especially for us and to
write a message for him to read the next morning. So sweet - he drew us.
Owen and Mzee - they are reading this book and have a theme
'Unlikely Friendships' which they are exploring, as a class. It's a true story about a 130 year old tortoise who essentially adopted an orphaned hippo. This is Arran's version.
'Unlikely Friendships' which they are exploring, as a class. It's a true story about a 130 year old tortoise who essentially adopted an orphaned hippo. This is Arran's version.
Another one of his pictures on the wall.
The picture, laminated to line his cubbie-hole.
Starting this week I will be volunteering in the classroom on Thursday mornings. I'm excited to get a closer peek at how things work as well as get more involved in this new stage of Arran's life.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
A change of plans
Our Saturday morning, running errands and shopping, took a sudden detour when we arrived at the outlets. As we were leaving our van, James started looking towards some bushes and asked
"Is that a bird or a cat?"
It did not sound like a cat to me, maybe some weird bird, but as we got closer he became insistent that it was a cat and crouched down, frantically looking to find it. He reached in and scooped out the tiniest little creature, pitifully wailing, with huge scared eyes. It was an incredibly young, abandoned kitten, starving and terrified.
Now I have to say that I am not a cat person, but this cute little bundle, so helpless and in need, touched all of our hearts. The children were terrible concerned and stroked him so gently as we tried to decide on the best course of action. He finally stopped his frantic crying and started to calm a little but was obviously hungry, attempting to suck on James' fingers. We decided to take him home, to try to give him a little milk and call the animal shelter.
Our baby bottles were far too big, as was a little medicine dropper we tried, but that was probably good as poor kitty probably needed something more feline appropriate (oops - but we were trying to help). All three children were completely fascinated and very concerned, it was just so precious to watch their reactions and see their compassion at such a young age.
We did take kitty to the animal shelter where they would hopefully be able to do a much better job. They assured us that we did the right thing and that if we had left him where we had found him he would have died a horrible death - it has been so hot here and it just does not bear thinking about.
Taking a peek at some of the other cats being looked after at the
shelter and waiting for new families.
"Is that a bird or a cat?"
It did not sound like a cat to me, maybe some weird bird, but as we got closer he became insistent that it was a cat and crouched down, frantically looking to find it. He reached in and scooped out the tiniest little creature, pitifully wailing, with huge scared eyes. It was an incredibly young, abandoned kitten, starving and terrified.
Now I have to say that I am not a cat person, but this cute little bundle, so helpless and in need, touched all of our hearts. The children were terrible concerned and stroked him so gently as we tried to decide on the best course of action. He finally stopped his frantic crying and started to calm a little but was obviously hungry, attempting to suck on James' fingers. We decided to take him home, to try to give him a little milk and call the animal shelter.
Our baby bottles were far too big, as was a little medicine dropper we tried, but that was probably good as poor kitty probably needed something more feline appropriate (oops - but we were trying to help). All three children were completely fascinated and very concerned, it was just so precious to watch their reactions and see their compassion at such a young age.
We did take kitty to the animal shelter where they would hopefully be able to do a much better job. They assured us that we did the right thing and that if we had left him where we had found him he would have died a horrible death - it has been so hot here and it just does not bear thinking about.
Taking a peek at some of the other cats being looked after at the
shelter and waiting for new families.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Day two of school
I am happy to report that when it was time for parents to leave today, Arran practically kicked daddy out. He was ready to get on with his day solo! What a big boy and how proud of him we are :)
Thursday, July 16, 2009
A whole new chapter.
That is what today marked. It was a major turning point for all of us, but especially for Arran. Today was the first day of school! Arran is officially a kindergartner and attending Mary Collins School at Cherry Valley. We really do have high hopes for this school and appreciate their philosophy on teaching and learning.
We have been leading up to this day for the past couple of months and in earnest the last week or so, trying to prepare him and remind him of what was to come. He had been talking about how excited he was to start and anticipating making new friends. Of course, to complicate matters, last night of all nights he had a terrible nightmare and lost out on sleep, which meant starting the day tired. All of a sudden he started to get anxious and told me that he was afraid, before he was even up and dressed, poor little guy.
This was a huge step outside of his safe little world of family and friends.
At times like these I feel so blessed that James is self-employed and can manage his own schedule. He stayed home with the two girls so that I could focus on Arran and take him in on his own for the first day. It turned out that this was a very wise move on our part.
Parking was HORRENDOUS! We do not, unfortunately, live close enough to walk and it would seem that barely anyone else does either. It is going to be quite the challenge, especially as I will normally have three little ones with me. He was running excitedly towards the school then stopped to grab my hand and ask me not to leave him.
We found his classroom and teacher, Mrs. Lewis, and were told to find his cubbie, familiarize him with where the bathrooms were and then find a table to do a project at. After a few minutes she did a few announcements then said it was time for hugs and kisses and for the parents to leave.
ALL of the children were fine, except for Arran, who burst into tears and held onto me for dear life. The rest of the parents left, as I tried to coax him off of me and explain that, I too, needed to leave. The tears streamed down his little face and he looked like a deer in the headlights, he was obviously terrified that I was going to leave. I felt bad for him and slightly embarrassed that he was the only one reacting like this, but I also knew that to leave him in that state would only make matters worse.
Fortunately his teacher was very understanding and did not kick me out (which I had kind of expected). Instead I stayed for the next hour and a half (!) as she read a story, did a little tour of the school, then explained how things worked around snack time. All the while I let him know I was there, yet I was gradually distancing myself from him. Finally, as I sensed he was feeling more comfortable and relaxed I told him that it was time for me to go, he froze for a moment then said
"OK Mommy"
That is what he needed, a little bit of time. He was ready and it was all positive. He did not have to feel betrayed or abandoned, he just needed to feel safe. It may have seemed like a long time, but I was so proud of him.
When I went to pick him up at 11:45am he came out smiling and happy. He ran down the path to tell me how much fun he had had, which was exactly what I wanted to hear.
We have been leading up to this day for the past couple of months and in earnest the last week or so, trying to prepare him and remind him of what was to come. He had been talking about how excited he was to start and anticipating making new friends. Of course, to complicate matters, last night of all nights he had a terrible nightmare and lost out on sleep, which meant starting the day tired. All of a sudden he started to get anxious and told me that he was afraid, before he was even up and dressed, poor little guy.
This was a huge step outside of his safe little world of family and friends.
At times like these I feel so blessed that James is self-employed and can manage his own schedule. He stayed home with the two girls so that I could focus on Arran and take him in on his own for the first day. It turned out that this was a very wise move on our part.
Parking was HORRENDOUS! We do not, unfortunately, live close enough to walk and it would seem that barely anyone else does either. It is going to be quite the challenge, especially as I will normally have three little ones with me. He was running excitedly towards the school then stopped to grab my hand and ask me not to leave him.
We found his classroom and teacher, Mrs. Lewis, and were told to find his cubbie, familiarize him with where the bathrooms were and then find a table to do a project at. After a few minutes she did a few announcements then said it was time for hugs and kisses and for the parents to leave.
ALL of the children were fine, except for Arran, who burst into tears and held onto me for dear life. The rest of the parents left, as I tried to coax him off of me and explain that, I too, needed to leave. The tears streamed down his little face and he looked like a deer in the headlights, he was obviously terrified that I was going to leave. I felt bad for him and slightly embarrassed that he was the only one reacting like this, but I also knew that to leave him in that state would only make matters worse.
Fortunately his teacher was very understanding and did not kick me out (which I had kind of expected). Instead I stayed for the next hour and a half (!) as she read a story, did a little tour of the school, then explained how things worked around snack time. All the while I let him know I was there, yet I was gradually distancing myself from him. Finally, as I sensed he was feeling more comfortable and relaxed I told him that it was time for me to go, he froze for a moment then said
"OK Mommy"
That is what he needed, a little bit of time. He was ready and it was all positive. He did not have to feel betrayed or abandoned, he just needed to feel safe. It may have seemed like a long time, but I was so proud of him.
When I went to pick him up at 11:45am he came out smiling and happy. He ran down the path to tell me how much fun he had had, which was exactly what I wanted to hear.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Reflections
As I reflect back on my recent trip, I know that it was a good thing. I keep going, going, going at all times and it provided a much needed break, much more needed than I think I fully realized.
The first couple of days, with the early start and the traveling and being worried about my children and missing them, was a little hard - but it was a bump I had to get over. Once I had arrived and could use the wonders of modern technology and actually see AND talk to them thanks to video chats on Skype, my mind and heart were at peace and I could get on with the show. To see their smiling little faces and have them SO excited to see me and tell me about the fun things they were doing with daddy, to not have them upset and begging me to come home was strangely freeing.
What surprised me the most, I think, was how much I missed James. The last few days especially, I just could not stop thinking about him...it was good! I had expected to miss my children, but being back in London brought back so many memories of our early days together. Then I would see couples everywhere and feel the pang of separation. I was excited to see him again and felt like a giddy schoolgirl. We were meant to be together, he completes me and still, after twelve and a half years of marriage, not only is the deep familiar love there, but he still makes my heart go pitter-patter and gives me butterflies.
It was good to be reminded of that and not just take it for granted.
People always say how important it is for moms to take care of themselves and to make the time, but I just do not find that it is possible the majority of the time. It is not our reality. Yet somehow, for everyone's sake I think I do need to make it a new goal.
The first couple of days, with the early start and the traveling and being worried about my children and missing them, was a little hard - but it was a bump I had to get over. Once I had arrived and could use the wonders of modern technology and actually see AND talk to them thanks to video chats on Skype, my mind and heart were at peace and I could get on with the show. To see their smiling little faces and have them SO excited to see me and tell me about the fun things they were doing with daddy, to not have them upset and begging me to come home was strangely freeing.
What surprised me the most, I think, was how much I missed James. The last few days especially, I just could not stop thinking about him...it was good! I had expected to miss my children, but being back in London brought back so many memories of our early days together. Then I would see couples everywhere and feel the pang of separation. I was excited to see him again and felt like a giddy schoolgirl. We were meant to be together, he completes me and still, after twelve and a half years of marriage, not only is the deep familiar love there, but he still makes my heart go pitter-patter and gives me butterflies.
It was good to be reminded of that and not just take it for granted.
People always say how important it is for moms to take care of themselves and to make the time, but I just do not find that it is possible the majority of the time. It is not our reality. Yet somehow, for everyone's sake I think I do need to make it a new goal.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Childhood Friends
When I was in Secondary School (or High School over here), age eleven to eighteen, I had two best friends. Everyone else had one best friend, but we were a threesome. We would hang out together at school all day, then get home and spend the rest of the evening on the telephone to one other. At the time, I am sure we thought these were life and death discussions, but the reality is, that we mainly talked about boys, our latest crushes and rejections, the general state of our lack of love lives...you know. I still wonder how on earth our parents put up with it all.
Somehow, even though we were so close for so long we lost touch. Rhianon went overseas teaching English for a number of years and I married an American and left the country. We did not have e-mail addresses and over the years, even though I had searched online for them both, I could never find them. Then, out of the blue, a couple of months back, I got an e-mail from Rhianon. A mutual friend who I had re-connected with via Facebook had kept in touch with her and gave her my details. After more than twelve years of no contact whatsoever, we had been reunited!
We have been e-mailing back and forth since then and there was no question, I had to get to see them (Rhianon had kept in touch with Claire) whilst I was back in England. It was so fun for the three of us to get to meet up and realise that we have not changed much at all. We all look exactly the same and even Claire's mannerisms have remained a constant over the years. It was bizarre and completely normal to sit there chatting and catching up on the years.
I have always said that a sign of true friendship is the ability to be able to pick up again where you left off. It does not matter whether it was an hour ago that you left each other at school, or a week, or a year, or five or ten or more. There is something that connects you, that reaches past time and distance. It is not just shared experiences, or similar positions in life, there really are kindred spirits.
The three of us again: Claire, Me, Rhianon
Somehow, even though we were so close for so long we lost touch. Rhianon went overseas teaching English for a number of years and I married an American and left the country. We did not have e-mail addresses and over the years, even though I had searched online for them both, I could never find them. Then, out of the blue, a couple of months back, I got an e-mail from Rhianon. A mutual friend who I had re-connected with via Facebook had kept in touch with her and gave her my details. After more than twelve years of no contact whatsoever, we had been reunited!
We have been e-mailing back and forth since then and there was no question, I had to get to see them (Rhianon had kept in touch with Claire) whilst I was back in England. It was so fun for the three of us to get to meet up and realise that we have not changed much at all. We all look exactly the same and even Claire's mannerisms have remained a constant over the years. It was bizarre and completely normal to sit there chatting and catching up on the years.
I have always said that a sign of true friendship is the ability to be able to pick up again where you left off. It does not matter whether it was an hour ago that you left each other at school, or a week, or a year, or five or ten or more. There is something that connects you, that reaches past time and distance. It is not just shared experiences, or similar positions in life, there really are kindred spirits.
The three of us again: Claire, Me, Rhianon
Monday, July 6, 2009
The Big Day
My brother is a married man!
The wedding was absolutely lovely. The location, the ceremony, the bride (of course), the emotion, the food, my family...it was a beautiful day and I am SO happy that I was able to be here and to be a part of it. Of course I still wish that my husband and children could have been here with me and it was so hard to be apart, but I am still glad that I came. I would not have missed it for the world.
Much love to you Ephraim and Faith and we pray many blessings over your marriage. You are two beautiful people, inside and out!
Now it is most definitely your turn to come to the States.
It rained the day before and after the wedding, but the day itself was gorgeous. Here is Wesley, the next brother down, best man, delivering flowers to the bridesmaids.
Ian, youngest brother, groomsman/usher assisting with flower delivery.
It was a beautiful candlelit ceremony.
Me and my sister, Caridad - we both read poems at the service.
My Dad and Pam.
Of course, the bride and groom.
To Do List
When in England...
Eat fish and chips - done!
Delicious! They might not look like much, but they were wonderful (and that was only one quarter of the chips)
Drink Lucozade - done!
So good.
Buy chocolate - working on it.
Friday, July 3, 2009
For my kids
Dear Arran and Bryttain (and Asia if you're interested)
Today I went out with Aunty Caridad and we rode on the red double decker buses!!!
We sat at the very front, just as you would have loved to do and I remembered when we were all here last time and how excited you were.
I love you all and miss you so much, but will see you soon.
Today I went out with Aunty Caridad and we rode on the red double decker buses!!!
We sat at the very front, just as you would have loved to do and I remembered when we were all here last time and how excited you were.
I wish you were here with me, but I know you are having fun with daddy.
I love you all and miss you so much, but will see you soon.
Lots of love,
Mommy
Thursday, July 2, 2009
How the other half live
I did not make it onto my listed flight at JFK. I waited two hours, only to find out the flight was totally full and being only stand-by, there was no room for little old me. I had to wait another two hours and they announced again that it was a 'Very full flight' several times. I felt so dejected, not only was the flight full but I was listed number nine for the stand-by list. I called James, almost in tears and told him that I probably was not going to get on that flight either.
Moments later they called my name. The lady behind the desk looked a little confused as I handed her my passport and looked at the guy who had called my name and he told her
'It's ok, you can give her a seat'
Then she handed me my ticket. Please note what I circled in red!
Moments later they called my name. The lady behind the desk looked a little confused as I handed her my passport and looked at the guy who had called my name and he told her
'It's ok, you can give her a seat'
Then she handed me my ticket. Please note what I circled in red!
I had been upgraded to first class. I took my seat and sat there a little shell-shocked, feeling like an imposter. I mean, I knew it could be a possibility as I was traveling on an employee pass and she had listed me for an upgrade, I just had not really expected it to happen.
Now of course it would be a little tacky to take out one's fat old Nikon whilst in first-class, just to document the experience on one's blog. So you will have to excuse the quality of the next few photos, which I took sneakily with my camera phone :)
Here is my view. It may not look like much, but my feet are up, stretched out and
covered with a comforter. I was so comfortable, it was fantastic.
Now of course it would be a little tacky to take out one's fat old Nikon whilst in first-class, just to document the experience on one's blog. So you will have to excuse the quality of the next few photos, which I took sneakily with my camera phone :)
Here is my view. It may not look like much, but my feet are up, stretched out and
covered with a comforter. I was so comfortable, it was fantastic.
When it came time to eat, there were no plastic trays and cups. I was handed a menu from which to choose my fare. It was actually pretty hard to decide what to have, they all sounded wonderful and not at all like plane food.
I started with marinated cheese, followed by warmed breads with olive oil for dipping.
They then brought round the cart and made up these delightful plates of smoked salmon, shrimp, sour cream, capers, (red onion, which I of course declined), lemon and little toast slices. Then another cart from which they made a lovely salad, to my specifications, it was all quite ridiculous really.
For my main course I had a beef fillet, in a sweet chili demi-glace, blue cheese potatoes and carrots. It was cooked to perfection, which truly amazed me, being that we were on a plane. The meal was rounded out with an ice-cream sundae. I opted out of the whipped cream, but still, after all the other food, barely managed two bites before giving up. I was stuffed!
I relished every moment and felt so grateful and blessed to have this extraordinary experience. This is not the life I live.
I then reclined my seat FULLY into a bed, took a sleeping aid and actually fell asleep for about three hours. It really was amazing and the sleep was whtat I needed most of all at that point.
My little goody bag, complete with Burts Bees products.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Monday June 29th, 6:15pm
My Monday started far too early! The alarm went off at 3:30am, and I did manage to get in, maybe a couple of hours sleep, at least I was in bed by 11:30pm with the light out…unfortunately turning off my brain was not quite so easy. I remembered more last minute things that I needed to pack, I remembered that I had forgotten to make a pillowcase for my travel pillow and I hate having my hair get all static due to the artificial fibers that make these travel pillows and blankets so lovely and soft! I kept thinking about the fact that I would be unable to say a proper goodbye to my babies. Poor Arran, as I said goodnight and goodbye to him had already started crying because he was already starting to miss me. It is so hard.
My wonderful husband, who I had wanted to stay in bed so that he would not fully wake up, got up anyway to carry my luggage out and start the van and kiss me goodbye. I kissed Arran and Bryttain’s sleeping foreheads and wished I could go in and do the same for Asia, but I can’t reach over the crib bars and I did not want to risk waking her, plus I knew that that would send me plunging over my emotional precipice.
My amazing, crazy friend Alice, for some insane reason offered to drive me to the airport, so once I arrived at her house and transferred my luggage, we were off. She even provided me with a mug of hot tea and good conversation and encouragement for the drive. I am so blessed.
We arrived at the airport and I made it onto my 7:30am flight. I was on the last row, but I was on, the journey had begun in earnest. I sit now at JFK typing away. After a couple of hours wait, I did not get on the 6:10pm flight and am now on the stand-by list for the next flight, a couple of hours on. I feel tired and lonely but I am on my way and hopefully things will improve from here.
My wonderful husband, who I had wanted to stay in bed so that he would not fully wake up, got up anyway to carry my luggage out and start the van and kiss me goodbye. I kissed Arran and Bryttain’s sleeping foreheads and wished I could go in and do the same for Asia, but I can’t reach over the crib bars and I did not want to risk waking her, plus I knew that that would send me plunging over my emotional precipice.
My amazing, crazy friend Alice, for some insane reason offered to drive me to the airport, so once I arrived at her house and transferred my luggage, we were off. She even provided me with a mug of hot tea and good conversation and encouragement for the drive. I am so blessed.
We arrived at the airport and I made it onto my 7:30am flight. I was on the last row, but I was on, the journey had begun in earnest. I sit now at JFK typing away. After a couple of hours wait, I did not get on the 6:10pm flight and am now on the stand-by list for the next flight, a couple of hours on. I feel tired and lonely but I am on my way and hopefully things will improve from here.
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