Monday June 29th, 6:15pm

My Monday started far too early! The alarm went off at 3:30am, and I did manage to get in, maybe a couple of hours sleep, at least I was in bed by 11:30pm with the light out…unfortunately turning off my brain was not quite so easy. I remembered more last minute things that I needed to pack, I remembered that I had forgotten to make a pillowcase for my travel pillow and I hate having my hair get all static due to the artificial fibers that make these travel pillows and blankets so lovely and soft! I kept thinking about the fact that I would be unable to say a proper goodbye to my babies. Poor Arran, as I said goodnight and goodbye to him had already started crying because he was already starting to miss me. It is so hard.

My wonderful husband, who I had wanted to stay in bed so that he would not fully wake up, got up anyway to carry my luggage out and start the van and kiss me goodbye. I kissed Arran and Bryttain’s sleeping foreheads and wished I could go in and do the same for Asia, but I can’t reach over the crib bars and I did not want to risk waking her, plus I knew that that would send me plunging over my emotional precipice.

My amazing, crazy friend Alice, for some insane reason offered to drive me to the airport, so once I arrived at her house and transferred my luggage, we were off. She even provided me with a mug of hot tea and good conversation and encouragement for the drive. I am so blessed.

We arrived at the airport and I made it onto my 7:30am flight. I was on the last row, but I was on, the journey had begun in earnest. I sit now at JFK typing away. After a couple of hours wait, I did not get on the 6:10pm flight and am now on the stand-by list for the next flight, a couple of hours on. I feel tired and lonely but I am on my way and hopefully things will improve from here.